With Power Comes Great Responsibility

Recently, my roommate Misty and I have been catching up on the latest songs that have been released. We find them catchy and fun. One song, in particular, had perked our ears up and continually got stuck in our heads. However, we were both incredibly disturbed at the words we were singing over and over again. This song is "S&M" by Rihanna. I think the kicker was when we were walking through the grocery store parking lot, singing loudly, and the next thing we knew we had sung the lyrics "chains and whips excite me" very loudly. Whoops! That earned some looks. At that point, we looked at each other and thought, what are we singing?

Has this happened to you? You hear this awesome, catchy song...get it in your head for weeks, then finally sit down to find the lyrics and you are shocked at what you are hearing? It seems to me it's happening more and more as time goes on. Another example is Katy Perry's new song "Kiss Me". Lyrics include things such as "take me", "I wanna be a victim", and other phrases that are piercing to me. Now, if one takes the time to really look this song up, you can determine that she is talking about a crazy kind of supernatural love. But the majority of people are going to just hear the catchy tune, listen to the key lyrics that stand out (which happen to be "I wanna be a victim") and they will hear that message over and over.

What are we hearing?

I can't tell you how many sexual assault and rape victims I have met, who have told me that people assumed they wanted to be raped, that they were asking for it. There are people who believe that deep down, there are women who want to be violated. Well, when a woman stands and sings a song in which the stand out lyric is "I wanna be a victim", of course they think that.

America is a free country. We have freedom of speech and expression (with the exception of running around naken in public). But if we are going to be free to express, we also need to realize the responsibility that comes with that expression. And that is education. After Misty, Jeff, and I looked up the lyrics to Katy Perry's song and had a long discussion/debate about it, we realized she is not speaking of violence, but of a supernatural love. However, that is not the surface message we are relaying to listeners. That is the message you can discern once you look into it. Who does that, other than us Drew graduates who have had years of sociological training in this area?

These messages have great effects on an already vulnerable population: young people who don't have loving and commited parents, kids in foster care, those feeling lonely in the world, those that have already experienced violence. Who is there to educate them? We can't simply say that it's up to parents to educate their kids in this area, because we live in a world where it's actually more likely that a child will not have that positive influence in their life. Those children are already more likely to head down the wrong path...and sometimes I feel that we just make it worse for them.

People need to realize the power they possess. As someone who has worked with children and youth for 8 years now, I can honestly look back and completely panic at how much influence I had on the young people I worked with. They would buy the same earrings I had, start watching the TV shows they saw on my facebook, burn my CD's, and remember every word I told them. In fact, I still have former youth tell me "I remember when you did this..." and I honestly don't remember, but they do. It's scary when you sit back and realize the influence you have had on people...and still do. But, with power comes great responsibility.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I'm fairly positive I could blog you to death about this topic, and I'll try to refrain, but I want to urge you all to take a moment and think about where your influence and power lies. We all have it, even when we are scared to admit it. Now, take that power and influence and use the month of April to find ways to push back against negative images and words. Push back against the idea that women want to be violated. Reach out to those who are vulnerable in our world. And always, always remember that what we say and do is never just ours. It effects the world, one way or another. Use your power for good.